What impresses a guy most in bed? Surprisingly (or maybe not so, guys do have a reputation for being lazy), most confessed that they’re not all that interested in theatrics or trapeze acts. In fact, many men told us that they’re simple creatures who basically just want their wives to show up. But if you’re looking to give him something extra-special, they’d love a little bit of this.
1. DO IT WITH THE LIGHTS ON
You may be worried about what your husband thinks of your post-breast-feeding boobs, your C-section scar, or that at some point, he’ll stop being attracted to you because you look a little — OK, a lot—different than you did on your wedding day. But men rarely notice your self-perceived flaws — they only become aware of them if you’re preoccupied with them or go out of your way to cover up. “It’s true, men are very visual,” says relationship expert Bernardo Mendez. “But it’s really about wanting to be able to actually see you move, preferably with no clothes on. We’re validated by how happy we can make you in bed, and that’s what we’re focused on—not on how much you may have changed.” So allow him see you. All of you.
2. TOUCH YOURSELF
Some women — and men — might find this a tad embarrassing, but hear us out. “Watching a confident woman fully connect to her sexuality is a huge turn-on for us,” says Mendez. It’s like giving your husband a private peep show, and being able to see the pleasure on your face and get a better understanding of exactly how you like to be touched is both a turn-on and a valuable lesson.
3. USE YOUR MOUTH
Call us Captain Obvious, but… “I cannot stress this enough: We love getting blow jobs,” says dating coach Todd Valentine. “And we love when you take it upon yourselves — no asking or begging required—to give us one.” So go ahead and surprise him, and not just because it’s his birthday or you lost a bet.
4. BE VOCAL
We’re not suggesting frighteningly fake porn star-moans, butmen want to know when you’re enjoying yourself. “That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to talk dirty,” says Valentine. “Commands — like ‘f— me harder’ — can make us freeze up. Telling us when you like something—’I love it when you f— me hard’— is far better.” You might wonder the point of “oohs” and “ahhs” after all these years — after all, he likely knows what works by now. But if you let yourself go and gasp a little like old times, you may be surprised by how he respond to that validation — and what his renewed excitement will do to you.
5. FOCUS ON HIS SENSITIVE SPOTS
The tip of his penis should be paid special attention, says Valentine. “Handle with care, but know that a flick of the tongue here and there will leave your husband speechless.”
6. GET FRISKY ANYWHERE BUT IN BED
“Men fantasize about having sex in different places,” says Dr. Scott Haltzman, author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men. While routine sex has its place, he sometimes wants to do something different—and that’s good for you too. One day, head to Ikea in search of a faux bear-skin rug (spare him the trip) and get wild in front of your fireplace. Or simply straddle him on the couch while the kids are at a sleepover — just make sure the TV is turned off behind you.